When it's perfectly appropriate to not "keep calm and carry on"

      I hate it when people tell me to calm down. Personally, I need to figure that out for myself and you standing there outside of my rushing mind and tingling body don't really have a clue what's going on. You telling me to calm down is like trying to shut down a city's electricity while you're in the woods around a campfire singing Kumbaya. It's not very likely.

    Sometimes frustrating things happen. Sometimes we deserve it (like when we miss an appointment but still have to pay for it) and sometimes we don't (like when heavy and icy snow falls on your car and cracks the windshield). Regardless, it's perfectly fine and actually better to get upset. To show your frustration.

    Here are some ways to do that in a thoughtful manner where nothing else gets broken:

Cry instead of lie

    Don't tell yourself it's all going to be okay unless you actually believe that. I've made that mistake of too quickly passing an issue off as if it was nothing and then guess what, it ended up still being an issue. You're better off to take some time and cry and be mad and have your little pity party now, so then later when you do feel okay, you can be more clear-minded and honest with yourself. It's kind of like pain.
   
    When you stub your toe, you don't keep walking like nothing's happened (unless you're made of steel or something, weirdo); you freak out because duh, it hurts! Just remember, everyone is different in how they handle emotions and it's never a shameful thing to see a professional for help.

Tire your body out

     When your heart's racing because someone betrayed you or you feel duped in some way, it's easy to want to run your mouth on complaining. There's nothing necessarily wrong with that, but what happens is that often we can over-complain. At least I can. Of course, there's the option to write it out, which can help, but I'm a firm believer that turning on some loud and reckless music and moving can be even more of relief. Get that energy out through some groovy moves than accidental ones that break things.

Hold yourself accountable

     Recently on the Well Podcast by Mamamia Out loud, I heard them talking about how it's important to stop listing all the ways in which a person gets on your nerves (unless it's any sort of abuse) and instead list the ways they do the opposite. For myself, I sometimes complain my boyfriend doesn't really listen to me. I'll bring up examples are over a month, three months, sometimes even a year old about how he neglected me.
   
     What they were advising to do is the opposite. So in this case, I would have to list all the ways my boyfriend does listen to me. Well, that list is considerably longer. The point is, sometimes we throw ourselves pity parties and go overboard with decorations (ie reasons why our life sucks). Yes, some aspects really do. But there are other parts that don't. This ties into the whole grateful journal thing, where people are encourage to write at least three aspects of their day/present life they're grateful for.



    Ultimately, we should be grateful for our emotions, even if at times they are loud and painful. Being upset about something is akin to having a splinter stuck in your finger: it's only going to hurt until you get it out.